Lebron Gives Subpar Book Report on the Biography of Malcom X

Since I’ve started covering the UFC/MMA a-lot more, it really puts the overpaid attention whores who populate other sports, in perspective. The most comically stupid of all these types is none other than Lebron James and his numerous press conference props. Lebron is arguably the best to ever play the game, which means he’s surrounded by yes men at all times. Lebron could finger paint a couple of stick fingers and be told it was renaissance level art by fanboys.

Everything Lebron says on his HBO show is presented as profound by guests and media alike. I mean, Lebron James is about as big as they come in regards to celebrities, so it’s not like it’s his all his fault. The end result though, where Lebron thinks he’s some cutting edge intellectual, is just comical.

Earlier this week, James walked out with an edited MAGA hat that said “Make America arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor.”

Of course this was lauded as brave and original by most of social media. After all, cherry picking the Breonna Taylor case while ignoring the shooting of Duncan Lemp is one of the easiest sources of woke points out there. Since Lebron is such a creative wizard, he took it to the next level and did a fake MAGA hat. This of course wasn’t woke enough for everybody, as fringe left Twitter compared the MAGA hat to a swastika and chastised the king for doing it. “There’s always a woker fish” philosophy applies here.

Anyways, Lebron recently got made fun of for always reading the first page of a prop…. i mean, book, in photos.

Damn, even Catching Fire? Just one page of a Hunger Games book? Dude reads slow.

For that reason, I guess a reporter thought it would be best to for a report on Lebron’s latest reading material; the autobiography of Malcom X. King James was holding the book during a locker-room press conference and drew a question about it. “So you’re holding the auto-biography of Malcom X along with Alex Haley” asked Bleacher Report reporter Taylor Rooks. “I don’t know how far you are into the book but what’s your biggest takeaway so far.”

At that moment, Lebron reverted back to that kid who didn’t actually read the chapters and is going off sparknotes. “Uhm, I kinda just started a couple days ago, uhm, but uhm, I’ve read a-lot of notes over the years, this is my first time actually reading it start to finish. But just a very uhm… very smart man.”

He continues like this for two long, long minutes.

Now to be fair, I’ve gotta give him an A+ for his ability to do what he did. As someone who was lazy as anything in high school, I knew how to BS my way through something I didn’t read like no other. The key is to limp along with some filler words before saying something that kind of has to do with the book. “Malcom X is a smart man” is a great way to do this. THAT is how you BS your way to an B-.

Anyways, I guess we’ve gotta cut Lebron some slack given the circumstances. He’s in the middle of a playoff series against a red hot Portland team, so basketball is obviously all that’s on the brain. Plus, since he’s only ever been photographed on page one, we can infer that he’s gotta be on what, like page eight? Rooks should check back for a book report on chapter one at some point in October.

Lebron will be carrying around his Malcom X prop until next month, when he gets to James Lemon, and then he’s gonna be talkin’ about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That’s gonna last until next year — he’s gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin’ about, you know, the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

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