A Look Back At The Best Political Ad Of All Time, Featuring Cocaine Mitch

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Former Marine Corps Colonel and 2018 House candidate Amy McGrath has announced that she will be challenging Mitch McConnell for his senate seat. McGrath narrowly lost in the 2018 midterms to Gary Barr by a thin margin. Her announcement just so happens to coincide with a bizarre article about how McConnell’s family owned slaves as well as several puff pieces from mainstream media outlets.

Reddit – the totally unbiased website – was allowing posts asking for/encouraging donations on behalf of McGrath despite it being against the rules. R/politics – which should really be called “r/FarLeftPropaganda” – explicitly prohibits this in their rules, but who cares? McGrath is a democrat, so shut your mouth and accept the double standard.

Thought old tweets were bad? Now people’s relatives that they never met are fair game. This is the type of idiocy we get when members of congress are telling the public that the government runs “concentration camps”. People become completely unglued while any and everything is on the table. We are living in full clown world, in case you haven’t noticed.

Thankfully, turtle man had a very “cocaine Mitch” response. At a press conference, McConnell was asked about the report. Cocaine Mitch said that he “finds himself once again in the same position as President Obama. We both oppose reparations and both are the descendants of slave owners”.

The Senate Majority Leader was referencing a 2007 article from The Guardian which revealed then candidate Obama’s slave owner lineage. The article found that Obama’s great-great-great-great-grandfather on his mother’s side, George Washington Overall, a owned two slaves in Kentucky. William Reitwiesner – the genealogical researcher who made these discoveries – also found Obama’s great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, Mary Duvall, also owned a pair of slaves. These slaves were referenced in an 1850 census record.

I personally had never known this about Obama (not that I would care) which shows just how much of a cocaine Mitch move this was. There’s hacky, corrupt, establishment Mitch and then there’s “cocaine” Mitch. When cocaine Mitch is around, expect moves to be made and savage quotes to be doled out. Thankfully we’ve been seeing a-lot more of the latter in recent months, like when he forced a vote on AOC’s “green new deal” that not one member voted for.

Cocaine Mitch is the best Mitch, and the country is better off when he’s around.

How Did McConnell Become Cocaine Mitch?

Cocaine Mitch has truly glorious origins. The term was originally used by coal magnate Don Blankenship who was running to become the Republican nominee for The Senate. Blankenship – who was CEO of Massey Energy during one of the largest mining explosions in modern U.S. history – was thoroughly opposed by McConnell and the GOP establishment.

Thought Roy Moore was bad? Don Blankenship had potential to be Roy Moore 2.0. Blankenship served one year in prison for conspiring to violate federal mine safety standards in connection with the explosion, in which 29 people died. Prosecutors alleged that, “Massey manipulated the ventilation system during inspections of the Upper Big Branch mine to fool safety officials and disabled a methane monitor on a cutting machine a few months before the explosion on April 5, 2010.” They also alleged that Blankenship would “order his officials to warn mine operators when the federal inspectors were coming for “surprise” visits, and to quickly cover up any safety violations.”

Like Moore, Blankenship had a loyal group of supporters in state but would have been picked apart by national media and rival GOP factions. In addition to his abysmal record, Blankenship had no personality whatsoever. Think I’m joking? This dude was on straight auto-pilot half the time. You’ll see soon enough….

Despite opposition, Blankenship entered the Republican Primary against challengers Evan Jenkins and Patrick Morrisey. As a result, the establishment continued to run ads against him, which put McConnell in Blankenship’s crosshairs.

What Came Next Was The Best Political Ad Of All Time

This all led to what I personally consider to be the best political ad of all time. The TV commercial featured Blankenship – who was totally emotionless – speaking to the camera. He referred to Mitch as “swamp captain Mitch McConnell” and accused him of creating millions of jobs for “China people”. He then went on to speak about McConnell’s “China family”, presumably referring to his wife and Labor Secretary Elaine Chao. It should be noted that her family fled communist oppression, but can we just leave Don out of the loop on that? Maybe one day we’ll get another gem of an ad.

He then goes on to say that the war to bring back jobs for “West Virginia people” has begun. “Ditch cocaine Mitch” he states without any emotion as the ad ends. With that, a legendary nickname was coined.

Blankenship eventually lost to Morrisey who then lost to Joe Manchin in the general. Could Don have won? Probably not, but he described himself as “Trumpier than Trump” and stranger things have happened. A part of me wishes he won just so we could have seen what came next, but I digress.

Mitch McConnell has since embraced the “cocaine” moniker by making cocaine Mitch moves whenever possible. If Don Blankenship can be praised for anything, it’s that. The only attack ad that could possibly rival Blankenship’s is the infamous “wolf” commercial….

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