Praising Doris Burke Is The Latest Way To Incur Woke Points

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Did you know that Doris Burke needs more work? The NBA routinely disrespects and demotes her at the expense of unqualified male colleagues. It needs to be announced loud and clear that Doris Burke is unequivocally the best color analyst in the NBA. If not, you aren’t woke enough and are more than likely suffering from unconscious bias. At least if you spend too much time reading woke Twitter, that is.

Wanna know why this is stupid as hell? Let’s see. Well for starters, she’s the sideline reporter for the NBA finals. The fucking NBA finals! Doris Burke is in a spotlight position for the biggest basketball broadcast of the year yet woke Twitter is acting like this is some travesty. You’d think they had Jason Witten out there given how this crowd talks.

Second, Doris Burke is one of the most well known/regarded analysts in the sport. In all honesty, her name is one of the first three that pops into my head when I think of NBA color commentators. Woke Twitter is trying to make it seem as though Doris is working harder than anyone and getting no recognition for it. In actuality, she’s one of the sport’s premier analysts and nobody disputes that.

Not to mention the fact that ESPN and Burke recently came to terms on a multi-year contract extension.

It’s Not About Doris Burke, It’s About Woke Points

The people whining about Doris not getting the play by play know everything listed above. They know that she’s a household name and they know that her star will continue to rise. The sideline reporter during the NBA Finals is a big deal and even the biggest window-licker knows it.

Understanding wokeness is crucial to understanding why this happens though. Wokeness is something that needs to be shouted out. The entire world needs to know how virtuous and progressive the blue checkmarks on Twitter are. It isn’t enough to just have values, they need to be held up like a trophy. Otherwise, how would anyone know that you’re better than everyone who thinks differently? After all, they’re inherently bad people and it needs to be stated.

How blue checkmarks feel after praising Doris Burke

There’s just something so off-putting about this entire routine. It’s almost always some late 20’s, early 30’s male feminist type needing to make these kinds of statements. They need to talk about how they LOVE abortion, do the whole “I’m not like other men” routine and want pats on the back for being a decent human being. I mean I don’t know about you, but the guy who constantly needs to talk about how he’s not a rapist is TOTALLY not a rapist.

This whole Doris Burke thing is in the same vein. It’s not enough to simply acknowledge Burke’s accomplishments; to acknowledge that she is one of the game’s premier analysts. Acknowledging that would rob woke Twitter of their oxygen. That’s because admitting as much would confirm that there is nothing to be outraged about. It’s admitting that there’s no boogeyman, and believe me, these types crave a boogeyman.

Woke Twitter needs to pretend like there’s some large contingent of regressive lunatics wanting to usher in The Handmaid’s Tale (woke Twitter’s favorite reference behind Harry Potter). They need to create this caricature of some fat guy wearing a confederate flag trucker hat yelling “WE DON’T NEED NO WOMAN ANNOUNCER” at his TV on a nightly basis. As if there’s some widespread campaign to get Doris off the air in favor of some unqualified bum. No such thing exists, and the outrage mob knows it.

But outrage sells, hence the routine. Don’t expect the crowd that preaches about sexism and “believing women” to stop talking about Doris Burke in this patronizing, condescending tone anytime soon. They could care less that Burke actually is a trailblazer and that she’s a well respected member of the NBA community. To them she’s a prop for retweets; just like male feminism is used as a vehicle for sex by predators.

It’s all disingenuous, and thankfully people see it.

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