New York Impounds 46 Ice Cream Trucks. Is That Really A Loss Though?

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New York is impounding 46 ice cream trucks in a sting called “operation meltdown”. According to the city, the trucks are notorious for racking up traffic violations then not paying. The trucks are operated by a small group that has allegedly been refusing to pay parking fines for decades.

This is honestly good news in my eyes, seeing as how ice cream trucks are dated concepts. Like 7/11 on the late night, they’re usually operated by people who barely speak English and seem like they’re mad that you’re making them do their job. They’ll park their trucks in obvious spots where they know kids will be begging for ice cream then seem miserable as they’re dishing out their insanely marked up products. What’s up with that man?

“No ice cream for you, but open bob and show vagene?”

Not to mention the awful, borderline creepy music they play. This shit may have sounded great to our parents but now it’s just an annoying sound that gives me creepy clown vibes. If ice cream truck drivers aren’t gonna adapt their business strategies since the 50’s, I’m not gonna patronize them.

Honestly though, my hatred of ice cream truck drivers was formed at a young age. In preschool, we all had to pick something we wanted to be when we grew up so we could say it at one of those recital type jawns. As you can imagine, ice-cream truck drivers were in high demand with four year-olds. When it got to the kid next to me there had already been three future ice cream truck drivers and he signed up to be the fourth.

At that moment, the teacher said that we already had enough ice cream truck drivers and that nobody else could pick it. That little bastard, who of course went on to be a white rapper, stole my fucking career. I had to quickly pivot to crossing-guard and had my hopes and dreams shattered at a young age. I mean it’s honestly kind of fucked up that the teacher was fine with us settling for being crossing-guards and ice cream truck drivers, but I digress.

Anyways, ice cream truck drivers are in danger of having their industry going under completely. It’s gotta cost more to upkeep those enormous trucks than they bring in selling their super hero popsicles. With people pushing for fuel efficient vehicles and ice cream readily available in convenieance stores, it’s hard to see ice cream trucks lasting in NYC.

I’m sorry ice cream trucks and drivers, but the future looks dim for you. Nathan Fielder might be your only hope.

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