As Bryce Harper Waits To Sign, Winter Storm Harper Bears Down On The Northeast

It’s been a crazy week with Bryce Harper rumors and my patience is running thin. We were told he was going to sign with the Phillies last Saturday, we got Greg Luzinski telling us it’s done on Twitter and Bob Nightengale continues to raise our collective blood pressure.

Still though, we’re midway through January and Harper is still on the board.

The markets for both Harper and Machado have, surprisingly, been underwhelming. Teams just don’t seem to be spending like they used to. Want proof? The White Sox reportedly have an offer out to Manny Machado for seven years, $175 million. To put that in perspective, Jayson Werth got seven years, $126 million from the Nats in 2010 and he was on the wrong side of 30.

There is clearly something wrong when two marquee, franchise-altering talents like this are getting half of what they would’ve gotten ten years ago. This off-season was supposed to be the mother of all off-seasons and so far its been a colossal dud that has gotten old and annoying.

Nonetheless, Philly sports fans are keeping their hopes up. I mean, what else are we gonna do after the birds got bounced from the playoffs? There’s only so much of Wilson Chandler we can stomach in one week, so all eyes have seemingly been on the Phillies.

I can’t say I’m not enjoying the content that this saga has produced, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that I wanna see some of that “stupid money”.

As the rumors continue to swirl, a winter storm is bearing down on the Northeast. They named it winter storm Harper, because of course, and the storm is expected to bring snow to the Philadelphia area this Friday and Saturday.

According to a report from an anonymous source familiar with the storm’s thinking, its agent is asking for $500 million. That doesn’t appear to be happening. We’re told $175 million in damage over seven years is the best that winter storm Harper can hope for. That same report told us that it will be unveiling which city it has decided to paralyze using a video game cover, but I have my doubts.

Its really tough to decide whether or not this is a good or bad omen though. Philadelphia fans are a superstitious bunch and there really isn’t a handbook for what to do when a storm is named after the guy you wanna sign. I just really hope it’s a good thing; because I want nothing more than to see the ballpark packed again.

But either way, this shit should be wrapped up soon. My anonymous source confirmed that both Harper and Machado intend to play baseball next season and that they both like money. Sit tight!

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