Do you taste that? That’s victory pedialyte. It actually tastes good this morning and that’s because you deserve it.
After all, you’re experiencing Foles magic. This man and his ability to elevate his team has arguably been the most surreal thing I’ve seen as a sports fan. Everyone seems to play better when he’s under center and the guy continues to grind out one tough win after another. Dude is a winner, pure and simple.
Granted, yesterday wasn’t his best performance. Throwing into quadruple coverage didn’t work out on that Amos pick, but those types of ballsy throws are what Foles has been doing when he wins games. I don’t want anything to change.
We love “dad”, but Foles magic is some next level shit. The fact that we all ended up in a timeline where Nick Foles is a Super Bowl MVP and Trump is president is still nutty to me. It makes me really glad that I didn’t end up in the alternate universe where Chip Kelly just now got fired and Marcus Mariota is our quarterback. At least maybe in that timeline, some of the “stupid money” actually got spent and we probably drafted Tatum.
On the real though, it’s hard not to feel bad for the Bears faithful. Unlike our fake Canadian adversaries in Minnesota, Chicago is a legit sports town with passionate fans. They’re a-lot like us only they think deep dish pizza is actually good. Sucks they had to lose in heartbreaking fashion, but go birds. The good news for them is that they were ahead of schedule this year.
Respect for da Bears aside, it was poetic to see our sleeper agent, Cody Parkey, come through like that. We all knew deep down that he never stopped playing for the birds. Watching that mascot crumble to the ground was one of the greatest things I’ve seen in all of 2019 and Cody Parkey is to thank for it.
I also gotta say that muting Kermit the frog and “here’s a guy” at halftime in favor of Merrill was a great choice. The audio was only a second or two ahead of the TV, so it worked out. Might have to do that more often.
It’s not that Michaels and Collinsworth are that bad. If it’s them or Hodor (Jason Witten), they win every time. We’re just lucky enough to have a top of the line announcer in Merrill and you gotta take advantage of that.
Now because I have a sliver of class, I will refrain from making any Katrina jokes this week.
But seriously, the Saints are a bunch of degenerates. Need proof? Alvin Kamara said they would have beaten the Eagles had they met in the NFC Championship Game last year. Annoying yes, but it’s hard to take anything this dude says seriously. Philadelphia fans collectively live rent free inside his head, as evidenced by his assertion that they started the ski mask thing.
Sadly for Kamara, the Eagles head into this game as underdogs yet again. They really just never learn.