Another day, another instantly saying “wtf is this” to myself after opening Twitter. Meet “Trumpy Bear”. This pro-American, high energy, tough on crime bear is a must have for every boomer that takes supporting Trump too far.

The only thing more essential is a pair of these

Sorry boomers, much love but I had to do it to ya.

Now back to the bear that has hipsters talking. Just like the real Trump (I assume), the bear comes equipped with a zip-up pouch in his back that of course holds an American flag. It can be used as a blanket, which sounds like it would be against flag code, but what do I know?

In his spare time, Trumpy Bear can be found cruising the neighborhood via motorcycle with his brother. A former marine, Trumpy bear’s brother does not look like one to be messed with. Neither is Trumpy bear for that matter. They don’t mention it specifically, but we all know that there’s a gun in that flag-holding pouch. Besides, what could be more American than a gun-toting grizzly bear?

In addition to requiring hair maintenance, Trumpy bear will typically spend patriotic holidays outside so prepare accordingly. The stuffed animal also brings A+ golf game. After just two sessions with the bear, you’ll be golfing with Donnie T himself at Mar-A-Lago.

Even A Teddy Bear Has People Mad Online

Of course, inevitably, even something as innocuous as this was bound to anger some leftists. “Like the Teddy Bear, the Trumpy Bear uses cuteness to mask something terrible” writes Jeet Heer of The New Republic. The article goes on to link the Trumpy Bear to Q anon conspiracies due to the narrator’s mentioning of a storm. Now granted, he could have a point . After all, we know nothing will spread the Q theories quicker than a $40 teddy bear and vague mentioning of a storm.

You see, shit like this is how things like the OK symbol and Pepe the frog become “hate symbols“. Leftist bloggers with 0 capacity to understand irony unpack something way too much and before you know it, baseless nonsense becomes reality. If simply saying the word “storm” is all it takes to be associated with Q anon, I guess that means Stormy Daniels is Q?

Plus, if my guy Jeet truly believes that something as silly as a Trump teddy bear is pushing a dangerous conspiracy, why is he promoting it? Matter of fact, I wouldn’t have even heard about this thing if it weren’t for liberal bloggers on Twitter. Good to see the left supporting American businesses!

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