15 Best NFL Names (2017)


15. L.P. Ladouceur, LS Dallas Cowboys

Long snappers don’t get much love, so here’s a shout out to the guy who’s name sounds like a law firm.

14. Barkevious Mingo, LB Indianapolis Colts

Sounds like an orange juice brand in Sierra Leone.

13. Colt McCoy, QB Washington Redskins

Can you believe Colt McCoy is still playing in the NFL? He seems destined to be one of those guys who leaches another 6 seasons out of his career without throwing a pass.

As for the name, Colt McCoy is one American ass name. When your first name is a gun you just have to cap it off with something like McCoy. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if 1 in 10 wild-west gunslingers were named Colt McCoy.

12. La’Raven Clark, OT Indianapolis Colts

“Send La’Raven to King’s Landing”

11. James O’Shaughnessy, TE New England Patriots

If this guy’s first name was Seamus or Mickey he would be number one for sure!

10. Prince Amukamara, CB Chicago Bears

You really can’t get a name much better than Prince; enough said.

9. Gino Gradkowski, C Carolina Panthers

I’m not even going to look up what this guy looks like because I’m already picturing a kid in the 1920’s selling newspapers.

8. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, S Green Bay Packers

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix could be the best trash talking name of all time if he wanted to take it there. TO levels of smack talk combined with a name like Ha Ha Clinton-Dix would make the earth open up.

7. Richie Incognito, G Buffalo Bills

Richie has been a-lot more incognito since he almost got run out of the league for “bullying” another player. The fact that a grown ass man allowed himself to be “bullied” in the NFL of all places still boggles my mind.

The worst part about it was how the media treated the “victim” as if he were a victim of domestic violence. But hey, it is the participation trophy generation after all.

6. Taco Charlton, DE Dallas Cowboys

If a Mexican kid ever went to a preppy ass school in New England; this would be the name.

5. Thurston Armbrister, LB Detroit Lions

I mean wow, what a name. This name honestly sounds like what I imagine the Old Spice Guy’s name is. It should come with a British accent at birth.

4. Forrest Lamp, OL San Diego Chargers

“Fuck your Forest Gump references”

3. Vontaze Burfict, S Cincinatti Bengals

When he’s not blowing playoff games he’s thinking that his name sounds like a disease you would get if you drank tap water in Mexico.

2. Ndamukong Suh, DT Miami dolphins

Make fun of his name and he’ll be sure to stomp your ass

1. Captain Munnerlyn, CB Carolina Panthers

A comic book villain? A cereal brand? Some Bacardi knock-off? The possibilities are endless.

Leave a Reply